Two words: Nuclear batteries.

When I wrote this expose on nuclear-powered laptops [PDF link] in 2005, it was nothing but a juvenile April Fool's joke. It was a prank that most people "got" right off the bat, but it also naturally suckered in a few of the gullible into thinking the dawn of portable nuclear power had arrived.

Gag or no, I've remained obsessed with the idea of personal nuclear power ever since. The realist in me understands that it's probably the worst idea ever, what with the radioactivity, hazardous waste, and Iran to think about. But I remain deeply intrigued with the idea.

Now comes word that nuclear batteries may actually become an honest-to-God reality, no foolin'.

Researchers at the University of Missouri say they've achieved the unthinkable, and that a pint-sized power cell based on radioactive decay can last a ridiculously long time: a million times as long as a conventional battery, enough to keep putting out a charge for hundreds of years.

Nuclear batteries already exist, but historically they have been quite large (and used only on things like spacecraft). The new design involves the use of a liquid semiconductor, which is less susceptible to damage from nuclear radiation than solid semiconductors and thus don't break down like the old models do. This also allows for the batteries to shrink in size. One prototype (seen above) is about the size of a coin.

There's absolutely no word on how close to commercial viability these batteries are, and given the citizenry's panic over anything atomic, it's hard to imagine we'll have mini-nukes in our iPhones even in the distant future. My best guess is we'll see military applications, where electricity is in short supply or conditions are too extreme for batteries to operate normally, for such batteries to come into play.

Your corporate NukeBerry, alas, is probably not to be.