Using Your iPod... to Whiten Your Teeth

Mike Williams is a guy you can't say no to. So when he offered to drive from Lake Tahoe to San Francisco to show me his new teeth whitening system, I couldn't refuse. The very notion of it was too bizarre to reject him: Williams says his Professor Bocelli "Rock My Teeth" system could whiten my choppers through the power of, yes, my iPod.

Calm down, calm down... hear him out. Here's how it works. First, you attach peroxide-loaded whitening strips to your top and bottom teeth. These are self-adhesive and dissolving, so there's no plastic left in your mouth after each treatment. With the strips in place, you put a custom mouthpiece between your teeth, plug it into your iPod (or any music source), and turn the sound all the way up. The mouthpiece also includes headphones so you can listen to the music while you're whitening, but frankly you can hear the audio just fine through the bone conduction of your jawbone. You see, the Rock My Teeth system pipes music into the mouthpiece and, according to Williams, uses that energy to enhance the whitening process. The way he describes it, "ordered sound" (like music) is the same as light energy, which has long been used in professional whitening environments to get teeth white, quick. (In fact, Williams sold his rights to one of these systems to another company for north of a million bucks.) The energy, he says, stimulates the peroxide and provides for a better, deeper, faster whitening process.

That's the theory, but I told Williams I would have to try it for a week and see for myself. Without the Rock My Teeth system, he says the strips will get you three shades whiter in two weeks. With it, he says, you'll achieve six shades in one week.

So I tried it for a week. Let me tell you up front, there is nothing more awkward than hooking a mouthpiece up to an iPod and leaving it in your mug for half an hour. Just look at the picture: You look, and feel, like an idiot. There is also a lot of uncontrollable drooling involved. Keep a towel handy. Bottom line: This is not something to do at the office but rather in the dead of night, when no one is watching. No one.

So how well does it work? Well, I'm disappointed that I didn't get six shades whiter, but my teeth do indeed look a touch whiter vs. before the experiment. Maybe one shade. But whitening products historically haven't done a lot for me, and I've tried many of them. It's just my teeth, I guess. (Williams says I should try it for another week... I'm working up to that.)

Of course I have no way of knowing whether the Rock My Teeth system had anything to do with this, or whether they would have whitened just the same with the strips alone. You'll have to try it for yourself to be the judge, or you can check the testimonials on the Rock My Teeth website. The $50 kit includes the mouthpiece, cable, and 50 of the whitening strips. Williams also says that he'll throw in a "Boosteroo" attachment, a AA battery-powered device which dramatically increases the volume level of your MP3 player (louder = better whitening, he says), for 50 Yahoo! Tech readers. (Email mikewcsd@yahoo.com for details.)

The jury may be out on whether this is more effective than standard whitening solutions, but I tell ya, no matter what the results are you'll have a great story to share when you're done.