Reader Mail: Is My Husband Spying on Me?

Mon Jan 28, 2008 10:34PM EST

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Anonymous writes: I am soon to be a single mother. My soon to be ex-husband and I owned a computer store. I only have a working knowledge of computers; he was very good at it. When he left the house, he still was able to enter the PC, and I think he installed a keylogger program on the family computer. I can't do anything on my computer at home for this reason, and was wondering if you would know how I can check this, or delete it from my computer.

Keyloggers are a common form of software and hardware that are used to keep track of everything a user does on a PC: Essentially, every button you press is recorded to a file, which the spy can then access at a later time. All your passwords, and everything else you type, is accessible by the perpetrator. Some keylogger programs can even record occasional pictures or video of the screen. Other variants can take a snapshot of you with your webcam. And yes, they can relay those logs over the internet (though this makes them easier to find).

As you can likely tell, keyloggers represent one of the most serious forms of spyware on a PC, but they are hardly unbeatable. First, most spyware detection and antivirus software should be able to uncover their presence and remove them. If you suspect a keylogger is on your PC, update your antivirus software of choice and give it a full run. Also try a sampling of other spyware killers: My current favorites are Ad-Aware and Spyware Doctor. Both are free (the latter if you get it as part of the Google Pack).

Also, and this is critical, check out your computer for any hardware you didn't connect yourself. Many hardware keyloggers look like thumbdrives and connect to either your USB or keyboard port, often between your computer and your keyboard cable. The device does all the recording and the spy simply collects the device at a later time to access your keystrokes. Spyware detection software may not uncover these devices. See the photo above for an example. They can be very small and hard to detect, so check thoroughly.

If you detect nothing in your spyware hunt but still suspect you have a keylogger (or if you find the keylogger software but are unable to remove it), your best bet is to reformat your hard drive and reinstall Windows from scratch. It's a pain, I know, but you're better safe than sorry in a situation like this. Anti-spyware tools are not perfect and can miss infections. I'd rather advise you to spend a weekend reinstalling software on your computer than potentially give up all your secrets to someone who might use them against you.

Comments on Reader Mail: Is My Husband Spying on Me?

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  • 26 Posted by tabanog20 on Thu Sep 3, 2009 9:54PM EDT Report Abuse

    i do not have a computer what to do yani....

  • 27 Posted by james_ridge2001 on Thu Sep 3, 2009 4:28PM EDT Report Abuse

    Also its worth checking that remove assistance and demote desktop are turned off right click my computer properties Select the remote tab and untick the remote desktop and remote assistance.

  • 28 Posted by t_mitchell848 on Thu Sep 3, 2009 10:26PM EDT Report Abuse

    Is it right for your spouse to take this kind of action? What I can say is if you were doing harmless things on the internet then you would not have anything to worry about. The moment you started chatting with other men and building relationships with them… is where it all went bad… that holds true not only for internet life, but real life as well.

  • 29 Posted by chns1020 on Thu Sep 3, 2009 3:23PM EDT Report Abuse

    If you don't know computers well, there is no point trying to do anything as long as you are still living with your soon to be ex-husband. He can install anything he feels like anytime he wants. Once is he out, you want to do the reformatting and use the re-installation disk that comes with your computer. Some computers use a special partition to re-install your Windows. Follow the instructions that come with your computer. This should be the only way to do it because no anti-virus software is perfect.

  • 30 Posted by trudell2006 on Thu Sep 3, 2009 10:22PM EDT Report Abuse

    SIMPLY BUY A LAPTOP...BUT FIRST LEAVE A DEAR JOHN ON YOUR PC THEN DELETE IT!!

  • 32 Posted by foolhardy10007 on Thu Sep 3, 2009 4:01PM EDT Report Abuse

    don't tell me She never spied on Him! I read "Dear Abby" all the time, and it's always the wife who says, "I just happened to be walking by my husband's computer, and I just happened to see..." Stop whining, honey, and buy a new computer already. Stop blaming all your problems on men; you'll never grow up.

  • 33 Posted by fwwackus on Thu Sep 3, 2009 4:05PM EDT Report Abuse

    Actually, free spy ware was highly rated by Consumer Reports! The Ad-Aware program and SpyBot are two very good programs. You should run at least two spy ware programs plus an anti virus program (the AVG free program is also recommended).

  • 34 Posted by jamlom561 on Thu Sep 3, 2009 4:28PM EDT Report Abuse

    Before going through the trouble of reformating and wondering if there is indeed a snooper install your own keylogger and beat snoopy at his own game. In fact, you could pick them up for $20.00 I would install one on all of his systems then you woudl know for sure. Dumbass would never even know.

  • 35 Posted by cy14_hsm on Thu Sep 3, 2009 3:33PM EDT Report Abuse

    i just wanna ask with #19... are all those file on all those folder safe to be deleted??? im really sorry... im just new with it...

  • 36 Posted by theresa.allen@btinternet.com on Thu Sep 3, 2009 10:04PM EDT Report Abuse

    if a husband or a wife are afraid of seeing what each other are doing on the net , well one or either of them must be upto something one or the other would not agree with , in this case do they belong together anyway ? go figure . The internet has messed a lot of lives up so be aware folks , my advice would be if you think your partner wouldnt agree or you would accept the same from your partner ............THEN DONT DO IT !!

  • 37 Posted by mcguy25 on Thu Sep 3, 2009 7:13PM EDT Report Abuse

    maybe you should confront him about this and set rules and guide lines or as i'd like to say ("set him straight") i totally understand and agree that your husbands potential spying is wrong and unjust... but to play devils advocate i'd have to ask if your not trying to hide anything then why be worried about it? and also... is this the only reason why you have decided to make him your "ex-husband"??? sounds kind of harsh considering that you have children involved. i'm sure there is much more to it... he definitely sounds like he's controlling...... i would definitely confront him about it first and take it from there... your own personal laptop sounds like a good idea.

  • 38 Posted by djchriscaution on Thu Sep 3, 2009 3:44PM EDT Report Abuse

    I see that someone found TONS of logged (from day one hidden files) this should be illegal for any company to do. Is there somone that knows how to see this ? Or where to look. I am the type that will make head lines suing a company for this very act of invasion of privacy. Screw their terms , as far as I am concerned , they do something like this , its time to fight. Nothing makes me madder than that. Snoopy companies trying to get all your activities and exploit to their agenda , and have their buddy congressmen pass what they need to do it , or who ever that helps them under some cockamemy made up law to take away your privacy or rights as a US citizen. Please respond if you know how to find this and information who is responsible for the act of doing this.

  • 39 Posted by highground_overwatch on Thu Sep 3, 2009 4:19PM EDT Report Abuse

    very interesting piece, however, i found your choice of anti-'ware horrible. the best free one out there so far is AVG 7.5, you can update it freely as well. "Spyware Doctor" nearly destroyed my computer once. recommend staying away from it. "SpyHunter 3 Security Suite" is just under $30usd, but well worth it. it's always good to have more than one program protecting your setup.

  • 40 Posted by jamlom561 on Thu Sep 3, 2009 4:28PM EDT Report Abuse

    install your own keylogger and see if snoopy is really snoopin. Get him at his own game.

  • 41 Posted by nytelordz on Thu Sep 3, 2009 7:42PM EDT Report Abuse

    most key loggers need a command promt to access the info, if you suspect a keylogger try activating it by hitting cntl+alt+f10, or whatever f number to activate it. Also try "start/search "keylogger"...I have to say I used it and caught my now ex girlfiend trolling on personals.

  • 42 Posted by rhettdud on Thu Sep 3, 2009 8:38PM EDT Report Abuse

    Spysweeper is a crappy tool it doesnt do the job do you know any pc techs? Best to find a tech who will do a complete scan and if at all you just want to make sure he cant get in just format your HD and wipe it clean. And or have the data backed up before you wipe it. Hijack this works if you are a tech and know what your doing. Keyloggers are easy to get rid of btw.

  • 43 Posted by mcguy25 on Thu Sep 3, 2009 7:13PM EDT Report Abuse

    maybe you should confront him about this and set rules and guide lines or as i'd like to say ("set him straight") i totally understand and agree that your husbands potential spying is wrong and unjust... but to play devils advocate i'd have to ask if your not trying to hide anything then why be worried about it? and also... is this the only reason why you have decided to make him your "ex-husband"??? sounds kind of harsh considering that you have children involved. i'm sure there is much more to it... he definitely sounds like he's controlling...... i would definitely confront him about it first and take it from there... your own personal laptop sounds like a good idea.

  • 44 Posted by webboffin_jw on Thu Sep 3, 2009 10:42PM EDT Report Abuse

    Just get another computer where he can have no access to it. Give it an access passcode in the BIOS so that only you know what it is to boot up your computer. If you are that worried by a suspect computer then get rid of it. Computers are relatively cheap anyway. New computer, problem gone, end of story.

  • 45 Posted by cy14_hsm on Thu Sep 3, 2009 3:33PM EDT Report Abuse

    tnx with hateyou1st... one question... are all of those file on those folder safe to be deleted??? i am just new with them...

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