Reader Mail: Is My Husband Spying on Me?

Mon Jan 28, 2008 10:34PM EST

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Anonymous writes: I am soon to be a single mother. My soon to be ex-husband and I owned a computer store. I only have a working knowledge of computers; he was very good at it. When he left the house, he still was able to enter the PC, and I think he installed a keylogger program on the family computer. I can't do anything on my computer at home for this reason, and was wondering if you would know how I can check this, or delete it from my computer.

Keyloggers are a common form of software and hardware that are used to keep track of everything a user does on a PC: Essentially, every button you press is recorded to a file, which the spy can then access at a later time. All your passwords, and everything else you type, is accessible by the perpetrator. Some keylogger programs can even record occasional pictures or video of the screen. Other variants can take a snapshot of you with your webcam. And yes, they can relay those logs over the internet (though this makes them easier to find).

As you can likely tell, keyloggers represent one of the most serious forms of spyware on a PC, but they are hardly unbeatable. First, most spyware detection and antivirus software should be able to uncover their presence and remove them. If you suspect a keylogger is on your PC, update your antivirus software of choice and give it a full run. Also try a sampling of other spyware killers: My current favorites are Ad-Aware and Spyware Doctor. Both are free (the latter if you get it as part of the Google Pack).

Also, and this is critical, check out your computer for any hardware you didn't connect yourself. Many hardware keyloggers look like thumbdrives and connect to either your USB or keyboard port, often between your computer and your keyboard cable. The device does all the recording and the spy simply collects the device at a later time to access your keystrokes. Spyware detection software may not uncover these devices. See the photo above for an example. They can be very small and hard to detect, so check thoroughly.

If you detect nothing in your spyware hunt but still suspect you have a keylogger (or if you find the keylogger software but are unable to remove it), your best bet is to reformat your hard drive and reinstall Windows from scratch. It's a pain, I know, but you're better safe than sorry in a situation like this. Anti-spyware tools are not perfect and can miss infections. I'd rather advise you to spend a weekend reinstalling software on your computer than potentially give up all your secrets to someone who might use them against you.

Comments on Reader Mail: Is My Husband Spying on Me?

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  • 427 Posted by bnjam on Thu Sep 3, 2009 3:10PM EDT Report Abuse

    For sure you need to get ride of this guy. Get rid of him and move on with life. Life is too short to fool with someone like this. Blocking him is not the answer. Trust is suppose to be there in marriage.

  • 428 Posted by norah0816 on Thu Sep 3, 2009 7:41PM EDT Report Abuse

    She said he was a "soon to be" ex-husband. If he is already out of the house, she just needs to purchase a new computer and get rid of the old one. Why sit around and worry about something that you can change ... If he is nasty enough to spy on her or if she doesn't trust him, there is no reason for him to be in her home or to have access to a new system. Don't whine ... move on and get a new computer. Some comments have suggested that an Apple computer would be more spy/keylogger proof ... don't bet it ... they obviously haven't checked out "spector" ... look it up. I've seen it on an Apple (neighbors monitoring Kids) and it works fantastic ... records everything

  • 429 Posted by jazztizz on Thu Sep 3, 2009 4:30PM EDT Report Abuse

    To Comment 21 - that's not necessarily true. ("He obviously thought you were up to something (maybe with someone...)") Some people get off on knowing other people's secrets just because they have the ability to find them. I also don't think spouses should have the "share it all" mentality. I occasionally need to vent with a friend about my husband. I love him dearly, but sometimes he makes me crazy. My best friend is in California, so I sometimes "vent" in email. I hope my husband has a way to "vent" about me. This goes for every relationship; none are perfect and people need to talk to friends to work through the imperfections, get advice, etc. That's the kind of stuff best kept private and soon forgotten. Question for Comment No. 16. Is this something you recommend a person do often? ("You want to SEE and DELETE some of the many things on your computer ? Try this...")

  • 430 Posted by ts.mandy on Thu Sep 3, 2009 10:23PM EDT Report Abuse

    there is programcalled Tight VNC. if both computer installed this program you can use your other one from other location.

  • 431 Posted by smokinmirs on Thu Sep 3, 2009 9:30PM EDT Report Abuse

    some people dont have anything better to do because they have no life of their own

  • 433 Posted by barmstr on Thu Sep 3, 2009 3:02PM EDT Report Abuse

    Another way to spy is to use a program like Netsupport. He can watch every move you make on the screen and even record what you are doing. You have no idea the program is loaded and running as the icons can be hidden. Reformat the machine with something other than Win. XP as a good hacker can still recover a lot of stuff on the hard drive. Thought of installing a new clean hard drive or buying a new computer without Vista? Good Luck.

  • 434 Posted by kderdog on Thu Sep 3, 2009 4:48PM EDT Report Abuse

    Loyl73 knows how to cheat and lie!! They is why she was caught. She thought she was smart, but in truth was just another dumb female. She was pissed when she couldn't figure it out!!

  • 435 Posted by totallybogus50 on Thu Sep 3, 2009 10:18PM EDT Report Abuse

    LOYL73 is a person who only cares about herself and her money!!!! She is #1 and is all that matters in her life! Whine cause you got caught a-hole. It will happen again in another relationship when you do the same to another!

  • 436 Posted by buzzlightyear42071 on Sun May 31, 2009 1:16AM EDT Report Abuse

    i know that my husbands girlfriend has done something to my computer they also set up my cell phone so she could intercept my text messages i dont know how but it can be done!

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