Reader Mail: Is My Husband Spying on Me?

Mon Jan 28, 2008 10:34PM EST

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Anonymous writes: I am soon to be a single mother. My soon to be ex-husband and I owned a computer store. I only have a working knowledge of computers; he was very good at it. When he left the house, he still was able to enter the PC, and I think he installed a keylogger program on the family computer. I can't do anything on my computer at home for this reason, and was wondering if you would know how I can check this, or delete it from my computer.

Keyloggers are a common form of software and hardware that are used to keep track of everything a user does on a PC: Essentially, every button you press is recorded to a file, which the spy can then access at a later time. All your passwords, and everything else you type, is accessible by the perpetrator. Some keylogger programs can even record occasional pictures or video of the screen. Other variants can take a snapshot of you with your webcam. And yes, they can relay those logs over the internet (though this makes them easier to find).

As you can likely tell, keyloggers represent one of the most serious forms of spyware on a PC, but they are hardly unbeatable. First, most spyware detection and antivirus software should be able to uncover their presence and remove them. If you suspect a keylogger is on your PC, update your antivirus software of choice and give it a full run. Also try a sampling of other spyware killers: My current favorites are Ad-Aware and Spyware Doctor. Both are free (the latter if you get it as part of the Google Pack).

Also, and this is critical, check out your computer for any hardware you didn't connect yourself. Many hardware keyloggers look like thumbdrives and connect to either your USB or keyboard port, often between your computer and your keyboard cable. The device does all the recording and the spy simply collects the device at a later time to access your keystrokes. Spyware detection software may not uncover these devices. See the photo above for an example. They can be very small and hard to detect, so check thoroughly.

If you detect nothing in your spyware hunt but still suspect you have a keylogger (or if you find the keylogger software but are unable to remove it), your best bet is to reformat your hard drive and reinstall Windows from scratch. It's a pain, I know, but you're better safe than sorry in a situation like this. Anti-spyware tools are not perfect and can miss infections. I'd rather advise you to spend a weekend reinstalling software on your computer than potentially give up all your secrets to someone who might use them against you.

Comments on Reader Mail: Is My Husband Spying on Me?

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  • 46 Posted by ticktackassasin on Thu Sep 3, 2009 10:08PM EDT Report Abuse

    i find it best to have alot of "anti-bad things" programs i use "Spybot - Search & Destroy" "AVG free" "& Ad-Aware" i use all of them once or twice a week

  • 47 Posted by alsprehe on Thu Sep 3, 2009 2:51PM EDT Report Abuse

    Can we flipping be any more paranoid? My Lord.

  • 48 Posted by hunterlassie on Thu Sep 3, 2009 4:21PM EDT Report Abuse

    Sounds like he's getting rid of a real "catch." Maybe she should open her own computer business and get up to snuff. I think it sounds like she has something to hide and it was probably his money the store and computer was paid for with. Just walk away and pay for your own house and buy your own computer, end of problem. Oh let me guess, I'm not being politically correct here. Grow up and be the equal we all know you can be and buy your own crap if you don't want to sleep with the guy.

  • 49 Posted by sysv1rus on Thu Sep 3, 2009 9:52PM EDT Report Abuse

    If the spouse is honest and faithful, they wouldn't have to worry what their husband or wife is seeing them doing online. As for exes, if my ex was spying on me and I knew about it,I would be the glass half full kind of guy. I would turn that into some fun.hehe

  • 50 Posted by yajyaj98 on Thu Sep 3, 2009 10:54PM EDT Report Abuse

    What do you mean Windows does it's own "keylogging" by default ? isn't there a way to clean it ? like running a disk cleaner every so often ?

  • 51 Posted by skirby55 on Thu Sep 3, 2009 9:26PM EDT Report Abuse

    Good luck with your computer, and new relationships. How the heck do any of you know if she was online cheating on her husband?

  • 52 Posted by nytelordz on Thu Sep 3, 2009 7:42PM EDT Report Abuse

    #54 is actully correct...how to find out if there is a keylogger....install one yourself, even if he gets your password and see you have installed one, you will see his activites. also try "Start"/search "keylogger". stay faithful...and he/she wont find anything.

  • 53 Posted by vtmoyer on Thu Sep 3, 2009 10:38PM EDT Report Abuse

    I think you guys are missing the point. It sounds like he has it set up so he is the administrator and only he knows how to access it. Isn't there a key she can hold down while booting that will override this condition and allow her access?

  • 54 Posted by cocoa2coke on Thu Sep 3, 2009 3:28PM EDT Report Abuse

    Hello Anonymous:I believe that I had a similar situation with my ex-financee, He had a outside connection that he used. But it's a good thing that your going thru a divorce & I didn't get married, insecurity never last.( this is for #23, Why is it that she has to be cheating)? He doesn't need to know her personal business maybe your insecure too.Anonymous keep your head up to sky & keep it movin. Have a blessed life

  • 55 Posted by edwardjean2001 on Thu Sep 3, 2009 3:52PM EDT Report Abuse

    What ever happen to "what's yours is mine and mine is yours" She wouldn't need a laptop if she has nothing to hide. My ex-wife had access to all my mail, I had nothing to hide. A differant story with her. I used the spyware and found out she had several boyfriend. Later she found out they didn't want a relationship with a single girl, they just want to bang her. Now she's alone. I'm glad she tried to have her secrets. Now i'm with a women that doesn't have any secrets. Don't get married if you think you need to hide something.

  • 56 Posted by blasioangel on Thu Sep 3, 2009 3:09PM EDT Report Abuse

    love thy spouse, technology wastly increase, but love conqours!

  • 57 Posted by parkerjeff75 on Thu Sep 3, 2009 7:59PM EDT Report Abuse

    What??? Does she have something to hide??? If she doesn't, then why the ----- should she care. My ex spied on my computer all the time and I let her. I didn't have anything to hide and therefore I didn't give a ----- !!! It just proved to me how untrustful she was. What goes around comes around!!!!

  • 58 Posted by nytelordz on Thu Sep 3, 2009 7:42PM EDT Report Abuse

    oh also do this...type up a letter in MS word "Dear you insecure bych/----- I know what youre doing...GET A LIFE!!! and move out" do this every 3-5 days :-)

  • 59 Posted by jerrydneal on Thu Sep 3, 2009 4:33PM EDT Report Abuse

    First, check and make sure no hardware keylogging device is connected. Turn on your PC. Turn off your internet connection. He will not be able to log your keystrokes when you do this. Put all of your passwords and personal information into text files or document files. If you have a CD-burner,or a DVD-burner, copy them to those disks before you do anthing else. If you have a Windows installation CD with your computer, keep it at hand. If you don't have, get one. (I prefer Linux, but the keylogger is probably a Windows program, so I assume you want to use what you've already got.) With your documents backed up and now in a separate place, now reconnect the to the internet. What I am about to tell is is informational only, so you may not follow the advice at your discretion. Download someting called MiniPE XT.iso. It's a full-CD-ROM, so you may want to use mTorrent to download it. It costs nothing. Burn it a a CD as an image (don't extract it and burn the files to the drive, or it won't work--burn it as an .iso image). Set your computer's BIOS to boot from a CD-ROM, and insert the MiniPE XT CD. It will boot into a Windows environment. Under Hard Drive Tools in the menu will be a Drive Shredder. It will delete the partitions on the drive you choose to shred. Use it. Reboot the PC, this time with your Windows CD, and reinstall Windows. The keylogger and all of its files will be gone--and so will everything else. Unless he's already uploaded the data from the internet, he's SOL--even the FBI couldn't find your documents. And what he's doing is illegal, so you need to bear that in mind. And you'll be able to reinstall all the programs from scratch as if nothing had happened. He won't even know the difference. The data he's already gotten--you won't be able to do anything about that. But this will prevent him from ever getting any more.

  • 60 Posted by ffg50_phm1_exnavy on Thu Sep 3, 2009 3:59PM EDT Report Abuse

    Well folks your dead wrong, don't bother with spyware tools, I'm in the industry, there are many advance tools used by companies for monitoring you will never detect. Keyloggers are minor the person could be recording all your activity including screen display. Answer (a) format the system and reload it. (b) There are also free industry tools that allow you to boot the computer from a CD without leaving any traces such as http://www.ubcd4win.com/ Never leaves a trace

  • 61 Posted by otis_flan on Thu Sep 3, 2009 7:47PM EDT Report Abuse

    The comments posted by Numbers 14,18, and 23 are all good...And of course the linux users out there but you guys know that for an average end user linux just isnt happening :)) He's probably either accessing it through the router or he's running something like NetOp remote control software because that program can run in the background and most people don't even know it's there and if thats the case then its like he's sitting there with her and it even has a nice record feature so if he misses anything while he's away from his system he can play it back later :) It's all just a stupid and petty waste of time but the sad thing is there are a lot of people doing it. You see the posts all the time of people asking how to hack into Yahoo or other email systems because they think there spouse is cheating on them or spying on them. So if you think that your being spyed on by your spouse or significant other or that thay are cheating on you then the best thing to do is change all of your passwords to any online accounts from another computer and then stay off the home system and if anyone try's to access anything of your's and they lock up the account in the process you should get a notice in your email informing you about it and that will let you know that you stopped them from accessing whatever it was.

  • 62 Posted by ringbearer162001 on Thu Sep 3, 2009 8:42PM EDT Report Abuse

    I'm for keyloggers. I mean what if your wife is cheating on you? If you're doing nothing wrong, what's the big deal? Unless you have something to hide...right? Or maybe she doesn't want him to know what a pervertress she is. Maybe YOU have given him a reason to spy on you darling. Please stop showing these deviants how to better didsguise their immoral behavior. There are many worse things to be victims of.

  • 63 Posted by alexlupu_703 on Thu Sep 3, 2009 2:50PM EDT Report Abuse

    There is a better way than reformating your computer and reinstalling all the programs you need . Just click start go to run and type in msconfig , go to startup tab and there you will see all the programs that will run at any computer startup and also were they are installed , if you have any key logger installed you will find it there and also any suspicious programs can be found there just search by name ...... if you have keylogger you will find keylogger in that list just click on the box next to it and it will deactivate it ... apply changes and then restart. Any phone calls can be redirected to any phone .... there are special web sites that do that. For more info contact me alexlupu_703@yahoo.com

  • 64 Posted by beijo_xx on Thu Sep 3, 2009 3:04PM EDT Report Abuse

    my boyfriend is able to read all my emails that i deleted a long time ago and even read old msn conversations and see the cam activity. how does he do that? and no i didn't cheat on him and these mails were written and deleted (totally deleted) before i met him.

  • 65 Posted by paladin0110 on Thu Sep 3, 2009 7:48PM EDT Report Abuse

    Since the Cheating witch will be soon free of her jailer. I guess she should have her new boyfriend buy her a new computer system. While she is at it she can repay all the money she probably stole from him. Too bad he won't be able to get his children from her clutches, of course they probably aren't his kids. She probably let her boyfriend off the hook. just another witch that missed the stake by 4 centuries. too bad

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