Reader Mail: Is My Husband Spying on Me?

Mon Jan 28, 2008 10:34PM EST

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Anonymous writes: I am soon to be a single mother. My soon to be ex-husband and I owned a computer store. I only have a working knowledge of computers; he was very good at it. When he left the house, he still was able to enter the PC, and I think he installed a keylogger program on the family computer. I can't do anything on my computer at home for this reason, and was wondering if you would know how I can check this, or delete it from my computer.

Keyloggers are a common form of software and hardware that are used to keep track of everything a user does on a PC: Essentially, every button you press is recorded to a file, which the spy can then access at a later time. All your passwords, and everything else you type, is accessible by the perpetrator. Some keylogger programs can even record occasional pictures or video of the screen. Other variants can take a snapshot of you with your webcam. And yes, they can relay those logs over the internet (though this makes them easier to find).

As you can likely tell, keyloggers represent one of the most serious forms of spyware on a PC, but they are hardly unbeatable. First, most spyware detection and antivirus software should be able to uncover their presence and remove them. If you suspect a keylogger is on your PC, update your antivirus software of choice and give it a full run. Also try a sampling of other spyware killers: My current favorites are Ad-Aware and Spyware Doctor. Both are free (the latter if you get it as part of the Google Pack).

Also, and this is critical, check out your computer for any hardware you didn't connect yourself. Many hardware keyloggers look like thumbdrives and connect to either your USB or keyboard port, often between your computer and your keyboard cable. The device does all the recording and the spy simply collects the device at a later time to access your keystrokes. Spyware detection software may not uncover these devices. See the photo above for an example. They can be very small and hard to detect, so check thoroughly.

If you detect nothing in your spyware hunt but still suspect you have a keylogger (or if you find the keylogger software but are unable to remove it), your best bet is to reformat your hard drive and reinstall Windows from scratch. It's a pain, I know, but you're better safe than sorry in a situation like this. Anti-spyware tools are not perfect and can miss infections. I'd rather advise you to spend a weekend reinstalling software on your computer than potentially give up all your secrets to someone who might use them against you.

Comments on Reader Mail: Is My Husband Spying on Me?

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  • 66 Posted by james10161975 on Thu Sep 3, 2009 4:27PM EDT Report Abuse

    I wonder how many marriages have been broken apart because of people using computers to talk to their secret lovers. I think every individual with a computer should know what their mate is doing while on a computer!!! I caught my wife and will be getting divorced soon!!!

  • 67 Posted by boxdog0515 on Thu Sep 3, 2009 3:12PM EDT Report Abuse

    Shouldn't she also be thinking of him dialing remotely? I assume he has the IP address and a modem. After all these comments she should probably go ahead and get a restraining order, preemptively, while she's at it.

  • 68 Posted by benny_alminde on Thu Sep 3, 2009 3:05PM EDT Report Abuse

    Ad-Aware has antyspyware program about 35 dollars.youll get Privacy Control free if you buy.it vil even delete your key stroke. I cleen my pc every day with it.

  • 69 Posted by jerrydneal on Thu Sep 3, 2009 4:33PM EDT Report Abuse

    Another thing you could do is use a live Linux CD, DVD, or USB drive, like Ubuntu. (The advantage of the USB pen drive is it's small enough to fit in a shirt pocket.) This boots into a desktop environment with applications that runs only from the CD; it does not install.Do all your work from there and store anything online in a sage place (preferably encrypted).You will have to make sure to set the BIOS to boot from the CD. Everything you do will exist only in RAM (although Puppy Linux can save the changes to the CD if you use a ReWitable CD (CD-RW). This means when you reboot the computer, it's all gone. Nothing was written to the hard drive at all, so he doesn't have access to that information, and if you use something other than Puppy Linux, it won't be on the CD either. Gone without a trace--yet you have it permanently stored in your encrypted files. Many of these, such as SLAX, can copy the CD to RAM, enabling you to write CDs and DVDS and save your data. They usually come with a CD-burner like K3B. So you can still save your data to CDs, without interference from him.

  • 70 Posted by opstechdh on Thu Sep 3, 2009 7:46PM EDT Report Abuse

    There are KeyLogger keyboards that hide the hardware in the case. If she is this worried she may want to have the house,office,car swept for audio and GPS bugs. Do a reality check and determine if concerns are valid or if the AutoParanoia brain device is running. If the divorce is that messy/high$ the lawyer should be able to provide security specialist to setup a protection protocol.

  • 71 Posted by gotmelk999 on Thu Sep 3, 2009 4:11PM EDT Report Abuse

    All of you guys who are accusing this woman of cheating are just plain ignorant. You don't know her story. Maybe her husband is about to be an ex, because he is a jealous, insecure, nosy, possessive ----- . Maybe it's time for her to move on. Regardless of what her business is online, he needs to keep his nose out of it. If things were going as strong as they should be, she wouldn't care if he saw her information or not. And I bet half of you are cheaters, yourselves. And by the way, I have a roommate who'm I believe is doing the same thing to me. We are not together and never were, but I always catch him messing with my computer, and he seems to know every conversation I have with my friends online. I'm not cheating on him, he's just a nosy Motha-F'er

  • 72 Posted by ezeimo on Thu Sep 3, 2009 3:57PM EDT Report Abuse

    hateyou1st is right. But you might not be able to recover your system if there is any failure. So be careful of anything your deleting that you didn't install or didn't write or save

  • 73 Posted by yamaharr1 on Thu Sep 3, 2009 10:54PM EDT Report Abuse

    O please you know it's the money grubbing wife who wants to know the ins and outs about key loggers just so she can use one. But being the naive lady and he knows computers she is just looking for a way not to get caught Disinformation a typical ex-wife leach ploy.

  • 74 Posted by shaunlivingdead on Thu Sep 3, 2009 9:17PM EDT Report Abuse

    is there anyway you can erase every single track of webpage you visited from your PC? i just need to know..tnx

  • 76 Posted by alan_headrick on Thu Sep 3, 2009 2:49PM EDT Report Abuse

    Windozes, huh huh hum huh huh, billy gates, huh huh huh!

  • 77 Posted by linda_barlow2006 on Thu Sep 3, 2009 6:52PM EDT Report Abuse

    He sound like he don't trust you on the computer, I had a ex husband that hit every lady he could online i kicked him to the crub.The best thing to do is clean your computer of the download of that thing he put on then kick him to the crub ,you will breath better,he sound like a really jerk.

  • 78 Posted by tedge1977 on Thu Sep 3, 2009 9:59PM EDT Report Abuse

    Always makes me laugh... Women go thrugh mens wallets looking for anything suspicious, cell phone records, e-mails, you name it and it is called being a concerned wife. If a man does anything like that he is a controlling, dominating pig!!! He probably had good reason to install it on the PC. I mean there has to be a reason for the divorce!!!

  • 79 Posted by ymb203 on Thu Sep 3, 2009 10:56PM EDT Report Abuse

    Consider using Spybot S&D as well. If Ad-aware can't find it spybot usually picks up any problems and is a very good program for trojans and other hacker trouble makers. Spybot is free and though I wouldn't recommend adding it to your start up as it can use a large amount of memory, it is a very helpful program. The three programs I use are Ad-aware SE, spybot s&d and spyware blaster. My virus protection comes from AVG.

  • 80 Posted by dave7and7 on Sat Feb 2, 2008 6:22AM EST Report Abuse

    Key loggers are great to monitor your children. There are a lot of preditors out there. If your wife isn't doing anything wrong... why does she care if you have a key logger installed? I caught mine making plans to meet a man on yahoo messenger! Cheating!!! IF you're honest you shouldn't care if it's on there!

  • 82 Posted by matt_rich_atl on Thu Sep 3, 2009 7:11PM EDT Report Abuse

    So many have commented that she must be untrustworthy if she's worried about what he sees. Statistically, 60%+ of MEN who are on the web are into internet p*rn; the numbers skew WAY up with techies. She was polite enough to not throw the stone, but odds a re much higher that he was the one misbehavin' here. When someone is going through a divorce, they are in ther process of setting up new bank accounts, new credit cards, trying to settle outstanding legal issues...there are plenty of good reasons for her to not want him in her business that don't include anything indecent on her part. I see a lot of bitterness in the comments. Stop the hatin'. Get some therapy. Move on.

  • 83 Posted by miket818 on Thu Sep 3, 2009 7:20PM EDT Report Abuse

    If the women dont have anything to hide, they dont need to worry about their spouse knowing what they do online. What can a woman POSSIBLY do online that should be so secretive from her husband? Besides, women need to lay off the computer and start spending more time in the kitchen and the gym.

  • 84 Posted by alks1977ph on Thu Sep 3, 2009 2:50PM EDT Report Abuse

    try to install deepfreze see www.faronics.com

  • 85 Posted by yo.gabbagabba on Thu Sep 3, 2009 10:56PM EDT Report Abuse

    Wow paranoid much? And you call $30 expensive... no wonder your marriages have failed.

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