Bill Gates Delivers His CES Swan Song

"Poignant" and "Bill Gates keynote" are words I never thought I'd use in the same sentence, yet it was hard not feel a few pangs of sadness as the nerdy tech giant bid adieu to an adoring crowd here at CES.

"This will be my last keynote," said Gates, before rolling a gag reel of his last day at the office. And here's a surprise: Bill's funny! The video begins with NBC News anchor Brian Williams, gravely intoning that Gates' last day marks the end of an era. Then we see Gates in his office, spinning idly in his chair, playing with Star Wars figures on his desk, and trying to decide how to spend his newfound free time. He even begins speed-dialing a cavalcade of stars, ranging from Steven Spielberg and George Clooney to Jon Stewart and Bono, squeakily begging for a part in their movies or a spot in U2. Best bit: asking Hillary Clinton and Barack Obama if they'd consider him as a running mate. (Gates: "Hey, it's Bill!" Obama: "Bill...Clinton?") Finally, Bill collects his things in a box, slides past Steve Ballmer, and drives off—forgetting that he left the box on the hood of his car. Oops.

Gates didn’t exactly lapse into sentiment during the keynote—sorry, folks, no tears—but he looked relaxed and ever boyish on stage as he rattled off the latest Microsoft benchmarks for the year: 100 million Vista users, 420 million surfers on Windows Live, and 20 million lucky owners of Windows Mobile-powered handsets. He went on to describe his vision for the "second digital decade," in three parts: HD displays and experiences "everywhere," seamless connections between devices ("no longer will users have to bridge between devices"), and the growing trend of natural user interfaces—starting with Microsoft Surface, naturally (although Gates allowed that the iPhone had something to do with it).

So what about the big announcements? Was there a new Xbox 360 with a built-in HD DVD hard drive? Well, no, although he finally followed up on the promise of the console as an IPTV set-top box, announcing that British Telecom will begin supporting the 360's IPTV capabilities. Also on tap: new TV shows and movies on the Xbox Video Marketplace, including ABC shows such as "Lost," "Desperate Housewives," and "Grey's Anatomy," along with MGM movies such as "Rocky," "The Terminator," "Silence of the Lambs," and "Legally Blonde." Nice, but not earth-shattering.

A few other announcements peppered the keynote, such as word that Microsoft's streaming Silverlight technology will power NBC's 2008 Beijing Olympics Web site, plus new Windows Media Extender products from Samsung and HP. Also new: an update to Microsoft's SYNC technology for Ford cars, adding assisted 911 support (which automatically calls for help if the car detects a crash) and alerts if SYNC notices any car trouble or maintenance needs.

We also got a neat little surprise: not an announcement, per se, but a "little bit of the future"—an "unusual device," as Gates put it, that uses visual recognition software to see and recognize (natch) people and objects. The prototype itself wasn't much to look at—it was about the size of a small shoebox with a thick wire coming out the back—but what it did was undeniably cool.

Bill pointed the thingy's lens at a fellow exec on stage, and the device recognized him, displayed his name, and even noted that the exec in question owed Gates some cash. Next, Bill pointed the device at a projected street scene, and the display recognized a movie theater marquee and quickly listed the movies playing, along with a quick ad for one of the flicks ("Interactive business models!" crowed Microsoft exec Robbie Beck excitedly). Even better, the device will remember recorded media such as videos and snapshots, organizing them for you in an automatic chronology. "This will be in the phone you carry around," promised Gates, although like Surface, I bet it'll be some time before the service pops up in a BlackJack.

Rounding out the keynote? A Guitar Hero 3 showdown, of course. Unfortunately, we didn't get to see Gates himself rock out on a GH3 axe. Instead, he brought out a ringer: Slash himself, who wordlessly shredded up a storm.

Thanks for the memories, Bill.