Cyberbullies: Cleverer Than Your Average Bully

Mon Oct 2, 2006 2:00PM EDT

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Typically, when most of us think about cyberbullying, we think about one person (usually a child) saying something mean or disparaging to another in an online environment. But, in fact, cyberbullies can and do rely on more than just words to harass and hound another child. Kids can be quite clever in what I call the Cyberbully Variations.

Not too long ago, I was showing a group of students how easy it would be for me to find their personal profiles on social networks like Xanga and Facebook, two popular sites at that school. After surfing for a few minutes, I wound up on the profile page of a girl in the class. Let's just say her profile on that site was not the sort of profile her parents might want the world to see. A look of panic and horror swept across her face as she insisted that it wasn't her profile. It turns out that she didn't even have a social network profile. She'd been bullied by kids who took on her identity and created a mean-spirited profile page.

There are other variations on the theme. Kids will, for example:

  • Create an online social group called "The Sally Haters" or the "Anti-Sam" club.
  • Sign up another kid up to receive solicitations and/or pornography.
  • Create a fake web page and invite comments (the high tech equivalent of "for a good time call Sally").
  • Create a voting page for the "ugliest," "stupidest," or "biggest whore" in the school.
  • Send messages that divulge information, true or untrue, about another child—their sexual orientation, substance issues, etc.

Most of these are meant to be nothing more than common pranks, the high tech equivalent of mean-spirited things like phony phone calls that were so popular in my day. But when you combine pranks with the high-speed ferocity of the Internet, you've got a recipe for cyberbullying.

Some good sources that talk about what you can do about cyberbullying include:


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  • 6 Posted by martin_nolan35 on Thu Sep 3, 2009 7:09PM EDT Report Abuse

    i used a forum were this kid was getting abuse so the mods deleted histhis hateful posts and hes ok now theres no escuse for pple to be treated this way

  • 7 Posted by random_man17@sbcglobal.net on Thu Sep 3, 2009 8:29PM EDT Report Abuse

    Ok, you guys are sounding stupid now, Cyberbullying has nothing to do with credit card scams or stuff like that, the first comment here was the best, and most on topic. If someone is trying to steal your credit card number, then please, just report it to someone? maybe that thing called "the government," Thank you. And yes, Myspace is for adult rapists who take advantage of unsuspecting kids, or other kids that want to talk to someone, but obviously don't know who they're talking to.

  • 8 Posted by srbevil on Thu Sep 3, 2009 9:37PM EDT Report Abuse

    Cyberbullying sadly isn't just a "kid" problem, though I'd say it's a problem for young adults who never quite learned social interaction skills beyond chatting with online "friends." I am a woman in my 20s, and the victim of cyberbullying from an ex-boyfriend. He made a MySpace account pretending to be me, and even solicited photos of me from my high school's 10 yr reunion page and sent messages to my coworkers "warning" them about me. MySpace took weeks to even respond to my request to take the page down, and immediately after the page was taken down, the cyberbully would remake it. You see, they don't block the url name from being remade (in this case, different variations of my real life first middle and last name). So every time the page was taken down, I had to grab the url before he could reclaim it. Luckily I was able to claim all variations of my name, but unfortunately he has moved on to other social networking sites. Since there is no "explicit proof" that it's him, I'm pretty sure that I'm legally powerless. All I can do is ignore him and hope that with time, he'll either grow bored or grow up. I do worry that it will evolve into something more sinister, like real life stalking.

  • 9 Posted by bigcat4jesus on Thu Sep 3, 2009 3:06PM EDT Report Abuse

    Ah, more cultural and govenmental nannying. Just a question: Why are the parents of both the bulliers and the bullied not monitoring their children's internet use? Oh, wait - maybe we need to let the government do that for us, too.

  • 10 Posted by alice_able on Thu Sep 3, 2009 2:50PM EDT Report Abuse

    I feel sorry for our grand children who go through this constantly it is so sad that they can make their lives miserable. Can't something be done about it.

  • 11 Posted by davefanwriter4000 on Thu Sep 3, 2009 3:37PM EDT Report Abuse

    The other thing is thease fake profiles project badly on the victims chances to get a job

  • 12 Posted by calliedaze on Thu Sep 3, 2009 3:16PM EDT Report Abuse

    This is for bigcat4jesus,, it is a little hard to monitor the cyberpunks computer usage isn't. i monitor my child's, but can't be the one to monitor the child doing the bullying, who is creating the awful site's. Somebody has to step in to help the ones being abused, whether it be an internet watchdog group, or the government.

  • 13 Posted by horselovingangel519 on Thu Sep 3, 2009 4:20PM EDT Report Abuse

    I think it is truly sad that people would exert their time and energy attempting to ruining other people's lives... *shakes head*

  • 14 Posted by abishag49 on Thu Sep 3, 2009 2:44PM EDT Report Abuse

    My husband and I had problems for years,because he could not keep away from his daughter aunts. They had controlled him for years and thought it was going to be the same when we married. these women started cyberbullying, by using his humbleness, to start recording and video-rec in our home. He sent it to them and they sent it all over. It is not just children affected by this stuff. Influenceing people by, lies and words spoken in anger. I love my husband, but his ex-girlfriends sisters will pay by God, We must teach, strength through love of God and Faith and belief in God through every situation, the enemy throws your way. Today is the Day!!!It is time to stand apart from the lies of the Devil and his imps.

  • 15 Posted by highonezra on Thu Sep 3, 2009 4:19PM EDT Report Abuse

    I suppose posting incorrect informstion about other children falls under the heading of "slander" but guess what - they are kids and kids talk crap. Hey. adults talk crap too, imagine that! Make sure your kids are confident and stand up for themselves. Make sure they don't take these things to heart and teach them to have respect for the creativity shown by the bully. Then, fogive and forget. kids are wimps these days, it really makes me sad. In my day, if someone said something about you, you called them out and stood up for yourself or you shrugged it off. Now it seems that everyone takes everything personally. What about turning the other cheek? There are a lot more important things to worry about in life than who posts what about you online...

  • 16 Posted by jetcode@sbcglobal.net on Thu Sep 3, 2009 4:34PM EDT Report Abuse

    How did we get here? There have been bullys as long as I can remember and just check out any public forum and there are many who are mean spirited who live to trash others. It's really incredible the amount of pain and suffering that is inflicted on those who are deemed different by those who want the attention directed away from their own perceived faults. High school was such a joke, there were a few that didn't buy into the ego trips, fortunately I knew most of them. Go onto a forum and post your opinion and be prepared to be slammed by someone. Yahoo had to shut down their forum because it was way out of control. Have we devolved as a species or were we never that bright to begin with?

  • 17 Posted by empresscallipygos on Thu Sep 3, 2009 3:54PM EDT Report Abuse

    Okrecords, let me get this straight -- you talk about how in the old days "you took it to the playground after school and duked it out" -- but you're saying that TODAY kids are too violent?

  • 18 Posted by jkutchen on Thu Sep 3, 2009 4:36PM EDT Report Abuse

    A note to wendysue56--it sounds like you have a lawsuit against "My Space" with a defamation cause of action. They are knowingly broadcasting lies about a minor--a member of a protected group. I recommend that you consult an attorney on a contingency fee basis. You should be aiming at the very least to receive a deletion of the profile, a public apology and enough money to pay the attorney. If this sort of thing is happening a great deal on "My Space," they should be driven out of business with a class action.

  • 19 Posted by princesajackie22 on Thu Sep 6, 2007 5:08PM EDT Report Abuse

    Im a single mother of a 15 year old teenager, she was so happy going to school... until one day she star faking sickness in able to avoid going to school it was streesfull, but im her friend and she told me someone on her school build a profile under her name with her pictures and a lot of fake porn pictures and everyone was making fun of her or worst trying to go out with her so they can get to know her a little bit more. Even if im single i take the time to check on my kids I wonder what the other parents are doing I know its hard but we have to have comunicattion with our kids they have to trust us and tell us whats on their mind.

  • 20 Posted by frawlins@sbcglobal.net on Thu Sep 3, 2009 4:03PM EDT Report Abuse

    This isn't harmless gossip, this is filthy lies and meanness. If you're bullied you'll be harassed at school too, it won't just be on the Internet. This horrible bullying must stop!

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