Emily Post Meets Electronic Etiquette

In 1922, when Emily Post first wrote her definitive guide to etiquette, she said, "Wherever two people come together and their actions affect one another, you have etiquette." That goes for online, too, but our online etiquette is still evolving and hasn't been codified.

The other day I sat down to lunch with Anna Post, Emily's great-granddaughter and charming author/lecturer/podcaster, to discuss etiquette in the information age. Post was on tour with Skype to discuss proper etiquette in everyday emails, speakerphones, social networks, and general cubicle life.

A few post-Emily Post nuggets:

• Webcams: Many of us are using webcams for videoconferencing. Before you accept an invitatation to a conference, think: "Would I go to a meeting like this?" That means comb your hair and get out of those jammies. Also, since video-calling is about building more personal relationships, be sure to give your full attention to the person you're speaking with. Even though they're coming to you via your computer, it still is a meeting, and you shouldn't be surfing around or answering emails.

• Email: Remember, if you use a work address for personal email, it's not just your name on that email—it's your company's, too. Keep personal emails and websurfing under control when you're at the office. Make sure that the majority of your day is focused on work and not personal matters.

• IM/Chat: IM and chat are great for instantaneous communications, but grammar rules still apply. Spell out words in full and don't forget to spellcheck. And remember, IMs can be saved and forwarded too, so don't say anything you'd regret later.

• Internet Phone Calls: If not everyone on your call is familiar with using programs such as Skype, ask them if they need a little guidance in advance of the call. There's nothing worse than feeling like a Luddite because you don't know how to get into the call. Create a how-to cheat sheet explaining to novices how they'd enter a video conference call.

• Speakerphone: Before you put someone on speakerphone, you should always ask their permission, and be sure to announce everyone who is in the room. Also, watch your speakerphone's mute button. Many people think that they've pressed mute, but you can hear them making noise in the background.

• Cubicles: If you need to take an important personal call, you should walk away from your cubicle, into the hallway, stairwell, or outside. Keep your cell phone on vibrate, not ring.

The Post family's guides to etiquette have survived through many cultural changes. In 1946, Emily Post dropped the advice on taking a chaperone with you on your date. Anna is pretty confident that if they survived the end of chaperones, they'll survive Internet etiquette, too.

Watch Anna's video.