Is Somebody Spying on Your IM Session?

Tue Jun 27, 2006 10:31AM EDT

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I'm all in favor of families setting rules about Internet use and I'm even in favor of using technology to help monitor and filter things for age-appropriateness. What I'm not in favor of is spying. Yet, I'm hearing from more and more parents who don't bat an eyelash when they talk about their obligation to spy on their kids' emails and chats.

So a queasy feeling came over me as I watched a demonstration of ChatChecker, which secretly monitors the computers in your home. ChatChecker seems like a noble effort and a worthwhile piece of technology. It's absolutely free (a premium version with more features is available for a fee) and it's developed by Imbrella, a company that really seems to care about doing the right thing.

ChatChecker works with AOL's AIM instant messenger (not AIM Express), Microsoft's MSN instant messenger, Yahoo!'s instant messenger, ICQ instant messenger, Trillian's instant messenger, GoogleTalk, and many of the third party instant messenger clients that use these protocols. MySpace IM support will be available any day.

According to the manufacturer, ChatChecker is quite impossible for a child to detect on their machine unless they're some sort of hacker-in-training. The software processes every TCP/IP packet on the PC, extracts the instant messages, and stores them on the ChatChecker website.

To use it, you download and install a piece of software on each PC you want monitored. IM conversations are stored on the ChatChecker website, or you can choose to be alerted when words you've deemed worth flagging appear in a message.

Products like ChatChecker (which, by the way, are also sold to be used in corporate environments) play an important role in providing tools to help parents make decisions about Internet use in their homes. I don't want the software to go away. I just hope that parents will, unless unusual circumstances warrant spying, let their children know that their computers are under surveillance. And I hope that Imbrella, a company with obviously good intentions would take language like "secretly records and captures your kid's IM chats" out of its promotional materials.

Grocery stores have made us comfortable with signs like "this premise is under surveillance." There's no reason why computers can't be under a watchful eye, either; just put the sign up. What do you think? Is it OK to secretly record your kids' computer conversations?

 

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  • 6 Posted by cnorman61 on Thu Sep 3, 2009 3:27PM EDT Report Abuse

    I think that this is a bit too much.... Sure, I can see this software being used for work-related messaging (conspiracy theroies anyone?) but using it for home use? That's gonna quickly turn into family issues and trust issues.. (i've gone there before and so has my sister.) I'm not gonna say that this software is gonna be bad... but like some of the other comments I've seen, if you raised your kids right, don't spy on them to make sure. I think that if you are THAT worried about your child to spy on their IM's... just disable access to them. Uninstall or, if you're using Windows XP or the like, create a new user for your child under a limited account (Which prevents Installation of MOST software) and block IM client sites using a proxy or web filtering. I know that may be worse than spying and incite more trust issues... but if you can't trust them to IM someone, just block IM's period..

  • 7 Posted by rivashugo@sbcglobal.net on Thu Sep 3, 2009 8:42PM EDT Report Abuse

    ??? maaaan i don't even know anymore. some kids are devils in angels clothing. as much as i love technology, i have to admit that there is no substitute for family time...and lots of it.

  • 8 Posted by desrochesbm11 on Thu Sep 3, 2009 3:41PM EDT Report Abuse

    Love chatchecker !!! However I completely agree that doing it behind your kids back is horrible. Use the program for prevention of inappropriate behaviour by having your kids know about it, don't use it to snoop ! Make clear rules with your kids. Example, I have promised my kids not to read their IM's. If I'm sent an alert (an email saying my child or who they are talking to has said something inappropriate) I discuss the problem with my child directly and together we view the corresponding IM chat log. Chat checker showes when I have read a IM chat log so I can prove to my kids that I'm not snooping ! Therefore I have the security of knowing my kids are safe and my kids have the security that I'm not easedropping on their social lives.

  • 9 Posted by blackroses220 on Thu Sep 3, 2009 3:08PM EDT Report Abuse

    Parents should not spy on their children's IM chats. Period. If a parent determines that a child is old enough to be granted permission to use instant messaging, they should also be granted the trust to use it without their parents reading every exchange.

  • 10 Posted by mfstadel on Thu Sep 3, 2009 7:17PM EDT Report Abuse

    I invite anyone interested to read the following: SmartMoney - September 2007 "WEB NIGHTMARE: What Your Kids Are Saying About You" You might think twice about the spying thing.....

  • 11 Posted by jippersbark9 on Thu Sep 3, 2009 4:35PM EDT Report Abuse

    I was one of the kids whose parents would jump at this immediately and not say a thing. I just moved out last week and it's an enormous release of freedom, even for my computer use. My parents used these things not to check we weren't doing drugs or seeing where I in particular went on the internet (maybe my brother), but they were very paranoid about if we were ACTUALLY doing what we said we were doing when we were IM chatting. I could no longer feel okay about IMing freely because of their constand archive chat on my IMs. And not because I'm a teenager, but because I've experienced it, I'm saying it was hard for me. It was like they couldn't trust me and with them not telling me, I couldn't trust them back. Please, parents, if you use this program, tell your kids. This article was very, very informative as to why. Please pay attention to it. If you're worried about what your kids are looking at or writing about, tell them, and if it still comes to a SPYING program to solve the problem, tell them about that too.

  • 12 Posted by cajack1 on Thu Sep 3, 2009 3:16PM EDT Report Abuse

    wow, to say that you dont condone spying on your kids on the internet is crazy to me...it will be your kid on the next milk carton...its not your kids that are the deviant all the time but, the people they chat with that trick them into giving out personal info and trick them into actions and conversations they would not normally be apart of....h e l l o ....dont you watch ...to catch a predator....ill pray for your kids safety

  • 13 Posted by brassi1060 on Thu Sep 3, 2009 3:12PM EDT Report Abuse

    It is sad that parents have to monitor their children, but society has made it necessary. As the mother of a teenage daughter, I do monitor her conversations, emails and text messages. I have told her that I will be doing this. Its not her that I don't trust, its the person on the other end! I don't gripe at her over what is said in her messages, but we do talk about them if they are abnormal. Then, we decide if that is someone she really wants to continue to be friends with!

  • 14 Posted by ask_michelle on Thu Sep 3, 2009 2:58PM EDT Report Abuse

    I'm all for programs like this to help keep kids safe. If a stranger manages to talk your child into a secret meeting and they do not come home from school some day, wouldn't it be great if you could check their previous chats and find out where they were going and who they thought they were going to meet? I was a very smart and cautious teenager, but even I was talked once or twice into meeting people that I shouldn't have. Luckily, nothing bad happened in my case. Parents do need to respect their child's privacy though. Let them know that they do have the power to monitor chats if they feel the need to do so. Occasionally you should check and make sure your kid is talking nicely. But for the most part, let them have freedom until you have reason to suspect that something is up. The internet could be a great place for them to vent and get sort out some of their thoughts. And your child's personal thoughts (as long as they aren't sharing personal info such as name, address, and phone number) are not your business.

  • 15 Posted by mrnetvestor on Thu Sep 3, 2009 7:28PM EDT Report Abuse

    There are several encryption applications out there that encrypt IMs from station to station. I believe they would render this product useless.

  • 16 Posted by elizabeth135095 on Thu Sep 3, 2009 3:53PM EDT Report Abuse

    Disgusting. If you don't treat your kids like adults, then you'll never be able to teach them anything. Spying on your kids? How would you feel is someone hacked your computer? Don't tell me it's any different. It's the same thing. Yet again, adults are making excuses for misetreating their children. At least be up front with it, otherwise you don't deserve to have kids. (Sorry if I sound like a hypocrite.)

  • 17 Posted by larrimore2003 on Thu Sep 3, 2009 4:56PM EDT Report Abuse

    Of course it's wrong. All people, even kids, deserve privacy. Think of how many times you've said something unfortunate, didn't mean it, etc. I know my kids probably get angry and say bad things about me at times. I don't want to know if they are venting to friends etc. Further, if you decide you must monitor them, I think it would be appropriate to warn them. None of us would like our bosses at work, spouses, etc to do such a thing to us, right? Lastly, consider this: If any halfway intelligent teen knows you are going to read their chat, they will just take you out of the loop.....chat at a friends house, go to an internet cafe, etc etc etc. While we have to protect our children from people who try to take advantage of them via the net (predators etc), we still have to avoid a police state. Look at the current (think Stalinist Russia) administration. Do you think you are safer because the NSA can get your library records? I have nothing to hide and at first thought, so what? Let them have it, but giving up civil liberties for the sake of security is giving up freedom itself.....in little increments at a time.....

  • 18 Posted by versrealguy on Thu Sep 3, 2009 10:33PM EDT Report Abuse

    I dont recall my parents having to tap the phone

  • 19 Posted by livgonzales on Thu Sep 3, 2009 6:54PM EDT Report Abuse

    it's sad that parents these days have to use these spy tools to keep tabs on their kids. The parents are working hard to provide the same kid comfort. As long as the parents are in charge, they should be in charge. I dont want pedophiles of teen sex maniacs getting to my child. If you must criticize us, go have your own kids, go mind your own business.

  • 20 Posted by k_mathis@sbcglobal.net on Thu Sep 3, 2009 4:55PM EDT Report Abuse

    The rule in our home is don't bring anything into the home that you don't want us as parents to know about. This of course is preceded by conversation about trust and all the risk associated with living in a tech savvy, predator filled society.

  • 21 Posted by jhcuratola on Thu Sep 3, 2009 4:34PM EDT Report Abuse

    I'd do it. In fact I did do it. About 6 years ago when my kids were 12 and 14. This is not really new technology exactly. I had a program that took screen shots of the computer at specific intervals. Yeah. Well, I don't really believe in kids having too much 'privacy'.

  • 22 Posted by rick_nye_usa on Mon Sep 24, 2007 4:48PM EDT Report Abuse

    If all of this keeps going on a steady flow, it won't be long before they will know whay you're thinking, ( that is if big brother wants to inject a computer chip under your skin. ) Just inject it into your head and, "Presto!"

  • 23 Posted by kgbrecordz on Thu Sep 3, 2009 4:50PM EDT Report Abuse

    that's some great insight by jippersbark9, i think it's terrible to spy on your kids, i am glad i'm the one who taught my parents how to use a computer. i agree with some others posts, if you cant trust them to chat, then you cant trust them to get on the internet period.

  • 24 Posted by rick_nye_usa on Mon Sep 24, 2007 4:54PM EDT Report Abuse

    While you are monitoring your kids, maybe someone is monitoring YOU! hahaha.

  • 25 Posted by christopherlebiedz on Thu Sep 3, 2009 3:25PM EDT Report Abuse

    Here's a story. Had a friend's son run a keystroke logger on her computer. Then her son got her husband drunk and showed him the log. My friend spent over 2 weeks in the hospital from her husband beating the heck out of her over the logs. NO THANK YOU.. Yall can have em

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