Tweens, Teens, Texting, and Manners

Thu Oct 25, 2007 10:07PM EDT

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I was talking to a friend today about the evolution of a carpool to a far-flung afterschool activity over the past few years. A few years ago, the kids would all talk to each other during the road trip. Now, they pile into the car, cell phones in hand, and a few of them spend the trip texting friends and not talking to the ones seated next to them. The car is quiet.

It's great that kids can keep in close touch with friends by text messaging with their mobile phones. But when it stops them from interacting with friends and peers who are sitting next to them, well, another kind of connection is lost.

Those little screens are fun and hard to ignore. Besides, so many adults around them are modeling similar behavior, working on PCs and checking and writing emails on the sidelines of sports events. What else are kids supposed to do? How will they know it's rude if it's accepted behavior among people of all ages?

The difference is, most of us adults grew up without portable, always-accessible communication technology. Somewhere inside, we know it's rude to ignore the people we're with to talk with people on the other end of a phone in public, in a restaurant, in a theater...the list goes on. When kids grow up playing handheld games in all of those places, then get their first phones and start texting friends wherever and whenever, any remaining boundaries are sure to disappear.

Am I alone in thinking something will be lost when this happens? As another friend tells her kids: Wherever you are, be there. A good lesson in our always-connected culture.

 

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  • 1 Posted by grammie582 on Thu Sep 3, 2009 4:12PM EDT Report Abuse

    No, you're not alone...as can be attested by that "televiserphonerneting" commercial....whatta ya mean he can't hear me, he's right there.

  • 3 Posted by j_mctiernan on Thu Sep 3, 2009 4:45PM EDT Report Abuse

    I agree. We saw a mother and daughter at a restaurant and the mother was on her phone the entire time! I was sorry I didn't ask the girl to join us.

  • 4 Posted by walleyehunters on Thu Sep 3, 2009 10:40PM EDT Report Abuse

    While on vacation my husband and I noticed a couple at breakfast "together." Both were totally engrossed with their electronics...one was texting and playing with her phone; the other had a bored look on his face as he surfed. WOW. Maybe the divorce rate will actually go down if no one knows how "unhappy" they really are!!!

  • 6 Posted by b_kennington on Thu Sep 3, 2009 3:16PM EDT Report Abuse

    I complain about this with my kids daily. My husband and I make them turn off cell phones while in the house, ban them from the dinner table and take them away during car pools and sometimes, during family car trips. The result is just as you stated, this techno-savvy generation has gone lost on social grace and etiquette. I hope "not my kids." How many of you parents actually monitor cell phone usage by your kids during the school day? You would be AMAZED how many texts get sent by kids during classtime!!! It's modern-day note-passing on steroids. NOW, ask yourself, how many kids are CHEATING on quizzes and tests this way. Food for thought....

  • 7 Posted by sohan254 on Thu Sep 3, 2009 9:31PM EDT Report Abuse

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  • 8 Posted by jzr_jettjackson on Tue Nov 6, 2007 9:24PM EST Report Abuse

    It's about time kids realized (and be ashamed) of this kind of behavior. You know what they say "Ignorance is bliss" but never do they know that the bliss they enjoy is obtained from the wrong area. Some of those kids may not have been trying to connect with their friends at all - maybe these kids got up in a hurry having boyfriends or girlfriends (or crushes rarely) for scapegoating or to create an unnecessary loophole just for them to be excluded. Wow how nice could that be? And who knows what those kids could have been saying in those messages? Chances are they could have been trying to be sarcastically inclined against their carpoolmates by including some slur in those messages they send like "OMG I'm so bored in this carpool with these people hanging around" or "wish you were here 'coz i'm feelin' a bit dizzy in this carpool". And I didn't know that it was rude to ignore people that we are with (in a certain place like the carpool) but rather trying to connect with people who we are not with 'coz I'm not even sure whether or not this is actually happening in our place.

  • 9 Posted by pentecostals@sbcglobal.net on Thu Sep 3, 2009 8:06PM EDT Report Abuse

    You are not alone. I pastor a church and I find that this addiction to the screen has caused respect for the house of God to be lost in most cases. Unless parents are smarter and care more and teach their children to respect others and others time and property. We raised our kids to believe that to interupt someone's speech with another was to steal their time. They also learned the value of speaking when spoken to and with sir, ma'am, as well as thank you, etc. We made sure that the crackpot who wanted to introduce ebonics as a legitimate language was blocked and yet we are encouraging our kids to learn techno type ebonics by writing text messages with the same abbreviations and hieroglyphic like characters. Is this Techno craze a harbinger of a new techno age where we cannot find a mate unless they do not know us and have never seem us before? WHere we cannot communicate with someone across the room because we have lost the ability to speak with people outside of the text/e-mail option? I am convinced that there is an addiction to instant communication that is very dangerous and harmful to this generation. WE need a ground swell of dissapproval of parents, employers and schools to help erradicate this rude, antisocial, and harmful practice. I hope we will all respond before it is too late and we have to collectively say - they were not crazy after all - they were right!

  • 10 Posted by day_walking_ginger on Thu Sep 3, 2009 3:38PM EDT Report Abuse

    Even though I am 16 AND I have a cell phone, I find the amount of cell phone use in kids disgusting.... I do text a lot, but not as much as the people around me, including my brother. When I am in class or hnaging out with my freinds or family, my phone goes away, but if I count the amount of people in the class texting, usually about half the class. They think no one notices if they stare into their purse or they suddenly have a "groin problem." All the phone use around me makes me feel lonely and left out. I put my phone away when I am around freinds, yet they still play on theirs. I hate going into a restaurant and have to listen to the people behind me talk on the phone. I hate it when my mom take me and my brother out to eat, to spend time with us, yet talks on her phone most of the time; While my brother is texting on my phone. Then she fusses at me because I ask her to talk to me instead; Then I get fussed at more for having an "attitude" when she was the one who got the attitude first. I'm starting to hate cell phones and technology. Cell phones started out with adults, then high schoolers and adults, now they're spreading down to elementary school. I've seen little kindergardeners with cell phones. I barely even knew how to use a computer when I was that age. (But then again, now I see kinderdardeners with designer purses, cell phones, wearing mini skirts, halter tops, and leather boots.) It's beginning to get hard to distinguish between age groups now.

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