Hoax: iPhone the Gadget of Choice for Self-Mutilators
Fri Aug 10, 2007 1:09PM EDT
See Comments (10)
When I first read this news report I immediately figured it was a hoax, and I'm still leaning towards this being wholly fake, but Apple fanatics tend to do things that the rest of us wouldn't normally dream of... so on further reflection, maybe this report has a glimmer of potential truth to it. Oh, the news: A 28-year-old Denver man had plastic surgery on his thumbs, "whittling" them down into points, so he could more easily use his iPhone's touchscreen.
The North Denver News reports patient Thomas Martel as saying, "I had a hard time hitting the right buttons, and I always lost those little styluses... Think of all the time I save by being able to use modern handhelds so much faster... and what it's saving me in frustration—that's priceless." I guess no one told Martel you're supposed to use a finger, not a thumb, with the iPhone.
Priceless, eh? I was going to use another word.
The procedure, which involves shaving down the thumb bones and altering the muscle inside and the fingernail, is described as "on the edge sort of stuff" by Martel's doctor. His thumbs are now described as "small and effeminate in comparison to his very large hands."
Oh God, please let it be a hoax.
LINK: Surgically alters thumbs to better use iPhone (via Russell Shaw)
UPDATE: Yep, it's a hoax.
Comments on Hoax: iPhone the Gadget of Choice for Self-Mutilators
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2 Posted by butacal on Thu Sep 3, 2009 3:15PM EDT Report Abuse
I give this article two thumbs up... sorry I had to do it or sombody else would've
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3 Posted by rogueist on Thu Sep 3, 2009 8:49PM EDT Report Abuse
It's not true. There are at LEAST 10 different names of the "person" who did this, 5 different "journalist" who wrote the story, and a dozen different "news agencies" that broke the story. It's a HOAX.
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4 Posted by timallred on Thu Sep 3, 2009 10:10PM EDT Report Abuse
Like it not in a few thousand years humans will have evolved to a form better suited to sitting in a chair typing on tiny little keyboards all day. Little girl hands to type agiley a compressed spine for 18 hour coding sessions in a chair enlarged heads to hold 5000 years of codebase. heck look at our esteemed christopher's pic and you will get a glimpse of the future! people with too big hands, carpal tunnel, not intelligent, cant sit all day will not reproduce at the same rate (opposite of now!)
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5 Posted by aceledon on Thu Sep 3, 2009 2:44PM EDT Report Abuse
I'm giving iPhones the finger, but not my thumbs...
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6 Posted by taya_jo on Thu Sep 3, 2009 9:57PM EDT Report Abuse
http://northdenvernews.com/content/view/925/2/
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7 Posted by ssatak on Thu Sep 3, 2009 9:38PM EDT Report Abuse
If you follow the link, it is revealed this is a lampoon, a fake piece pointing out (sorry) the almost-believability of this story - and what it says about current American society. I thought it was funny as heck There really are people out there stupid enough and rich enough to do something like this and never bat an eyelash. And many of us 'poor people' look up to them. Cent13
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8 Posted by gusbear on Thu Sep 3, 2009 4:14PM EDT Report Abuse
Why not shave down your thumbs to make texting easier? I mean, if we didn't let people shave down their frontal cortexes, we wouldn't have online journalism.
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9 Posted by scottishabbey on Thu Sep 3, 2009 9:08PM EDT Report Abuse
It may be a hoax now, but give it time... I've seen people do stupidier things than this.
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10 Posted by linnea_jhnsn on Thu Sep 3, 2009 6:53PM EDT Report Abuse
Think of what we're coming to if we need to wonder if this is a hoax!!
1 Posted by dcsoccer25 on Thu Sep 3, 2009 3:39PM EDT Report Abuse
Dear God people, it's a phone. Seriously, it is not *that important*. My God, cutting down your thumbs for a phone. I've heard of plastic surgery to make yourself look better; semi-understandable, to fix physical deformities; completely understandable, but to be able to use a phone better? Come on now people, you have got to be kidding me.